Growing Pains

I don't even know where to begin. My heart is heavy and I am filled with so many emotions. What is giving me this feeling? My kids are growing up - way too fast!

Yesterday we went to Target and bought school supplies not only for Mackenzie, but Dylan too. He will start preschool in August and needed a lunch box and thermos. Of course he was so overjoyed and was beaming with pride as he looked at all the different lunch boxes to choose from. I on the other hand stood staring at all the lunch boxes wondering where had all the time gone? Is my baby really starting school already? Wasn't it just yesterday that he was toddling around the house in a diaper? Oh how my heart aches. I wish I could turn back time and keep them little just a little while longer. But instead I tried to share in his enthusiasm about the cool Iron Man lunch box and thermos he picked out when really I wanted to burst into tears and just hold him in my arms.

Then to make matters worse, when we get home Mackenzie decides that she no longer needs her play kitchen set and would like a desk instead! WHAT????? I love that kitchen set. Didn't I play with my kitchen set until I was like 10? I don't know who loves that kitchen set more. Me or her? I love all that play food, dishes, and pots and pans. We spent many days when she would cook for me and make all kinds of yummy concoctions. We use to have "picnics" in the living room. What happened? WAIT - I'm not ready for this! What is happening? I want to scream and burst into tears and convince her that she can't do that! She can't grow up - I'm not ready! But once again I suck it up and I calmly ask if she is sure - and she is- sigh. So we make the trip to the furniture store to purchase a desk. She is so excited and filled with excitement and glee. On the way home she thanks me for buying the desk and asks if I will help her organize her things. I agree with a very heavy heart. (She is so much like me - she is very into having things organized. Kind of scary!)

So - desk is all organized, lunch boxes have been purchased and I sit here with a heavy heart. I just don't want them to grow up! I know that as parents we are raising our children to grow up and be independent, responsible . . .blah. . .blah . . .blah. But, what about me? I now have a seven year old who can read, tie her shoes, swim, and do many other wonderful things on her own without the help of her mommy. And a four year old who is quickly following in sister's footsteps. I know I should be proud - which I am - but I want it to go by much more slowly. So, for those of you who have little babies - cherish every moment and take it all in. It goes by so much faster than you think.

Wow! Just noticed how much the two look alike when they were both 18months.